Belated Weekend Write-Up

Ugh, not sure what’s up…maybe the grey? The fickle early spring weather? I’m dragging and this blog-writing has been dragging too. Sigh. My son threw a tantrum yesterday morning that he was tired and just wanted to sleep all day and NOT go to school. #allthefeels He went to school.

The weekend’s run was…ok. 13 miles of trails out at Palos averaging around 10 min miles (with one flight of Swallow stairs). It was great company, but we did 1.5 loops, and that second .5 loop was tiring. The hills felt hillier, the mud muddier. I was just glad Kelly was doing it with me (the others only did about 1 loop). Still, we had a nice little crew out, and it was my first run with Deanna (I think) since the Hateya Trail Race in December (that’s her, third from the left)! And I think my first run with Katie in a year (second from right). Geez, people get busy. Katie’s busy training for a half iron distance triathlon in the fall. Sigh, I still haven’t made it back into the pool since that one time earlier this year…

One of the things I like about trail running is that no one makes you feel like a loser when you walk the hills 🙂

Most of the path was decently dry, but there were definitely some patches that were still bogged down. 

It was nice getting the group together, especially since Laura, Kelly, and I will all be at Ice Age (Laura is doing the half). I was sad to see most of the group break off, leaving me and Kelly to suffer through another 5 miles. I’m not sure if it was the 6 miles I did the day before that left me tired or if I’m just TIRED lately…either way, it’s not doing much for the old self-confidence for Boston. I’m also doing stupid things like looking at my mileage and comparing it to previous training cycles and then berating myself for not running enough.

Sigh. I’m trying to just be in it and just accept where I am, but it’s a bit much right now. For a variety of reasons, I feel pretty checked out from training, work, parenting, life…and I keep dredging the reserves to keep moving and keep doing what I need to, but it’s not great. A friendly recently called me out on some of that behavior and it hurt, but it was also much needed. I can’t keep using excuses of “I’m busy” or “It’s too much” to NOT show up for other people in my life and think I’m “getting away” with it. There does need to be some accountability. I’m not sure if that makes sense, but I think I need to find a way to both recharge and re-connect with what I need to do. This is the point where I flash back to those, “Calgon, take me away” commercials of my youth. Ha. A few years ago, I was really working on mindfulness and simplifying. Instead of running around so much like a chicken with its head cut off, I think I need to really slow down and reconsider what I need to do…

We had a pretty open weekend for the first time in a bit, so we decided to go downtown and check out the Field Museum. It was crazy busy, but we got in to see the terra cotta warriors from China exhibit. It was pretty amazing to think that there were thousands of these buried. I was slightly disappointed to see that there were less than a dozen figures on display, but it makes sense. They are over 2000 years old, so I’m sure it’s quite a production just to transport these. I was fascinated to see that they weren’t all the same. Meaning, it’s not like they were stuck in a mold and cranked out. Each figure was different with different facial features, positions, and clothing. Amazing.

They had a mock-up of what they thought these warriors looked like back in the day PAINTED. They weren’t just the raw terra cotta color, but they were painted to look more life-like. I guess there were enough bits of paint for them to reconstruct the appearance. The almost cartoonish brightness of the colors reminded me of the Sistine Chapel when they started restoring the panels. People had assumed for a long time that the somber, dark colors were what they were painted like. When they started restoring them, though, they were startled by how shockingly bright they were. It’s funny to think that the sepia-toned images of history we have get translated into us thinking that’s the color people lived in 🙂

Gotta say, you can’t beat Chicago’s skyline on a blue day.

I was really excited to get Japanese food afterwards at a joint within walking distance. The ramen, sadly, wasn’t as good as it looked in this picture. The broth was super-yummy and flavorful, but the noodles were on the dry side. Still, we don’t often get a chance to eat Japanese since the kids don’t do sushi, so it was a fantastic end to a pretty good day.

The boy also really enjoyed the ramen broth. I tried to convince him to either hold the bowl and drink it (the more Chinese-way) or stoop over the bowl and quickly spoon the broth into his mouth (the more Korean-way…I think, anyway, I could totally be wrong). He decided to go with a completely different method, the straw.

Anyhow, how do you try to juggle things in your life, be present and show up? But also not fry out completely? How do you keep your training fresh? Or at least grounded?

Trail Tuesday

Because I can tend towards the self-destructive at times, I will ignore good advice and do what I want. There’s a part of me that believes that’s a sick part of being an endurance athlete…or at least the tension of negotiating what you WANT to do and what you SHOULD do. Recently on one of my running group pages, someone talked about having heart palpitations with their ultra running training and saw a doctor who questioned their extreme training. Briefly, there is a link between endurance sports and enlarged hearts. It’s believed, by some, that the strain of constantly pushing yourself to such limits damages your heart. I can’t get too much into the science of it, but you can find plenty of articles on it I’m sure. My brother-in-law’s father, who had run dozens of marathons, including one on every continent, was finally told he had to quit running altogether because it was too much of a strain on his heart. (That’s a nightmare of mine)

I was surprised by the number of people who chimed in with similar stories and different words of advice on how to handle it. Many suggested getting a different opinion, as well as work arounds for how they handled such a suggestion. The comment that stuck out to me, though, was one that questioned whether seeking a diagnosis from multiple doctors until you found one that said what you wanted to hear wasn’t akin to a junkie seeking out multiple doctors to get the drug scrip they wanted. Ouch. And all of this is to defend that I went trail running this weekend. Ha. Not EXACTLY the same as prescription drug abuse, but trust me there are plenty of multi-addicted folks out there running ha.

To be fair, this was a shorter long run (a “short” 12 miles) and it was just above freezing (hear the excuses?) so I thought this was my chance to do it. I’ve also been starting to worry about my lack of ultra/trail training. I’m concerned that my lack of training towards the Ice Age 50k will get me hurt racing…Although Patty and Jen would argue that this behavior might predispose me for getting hurt before. Pish posh! It was fine, although admittedly it was tougher than I thought it would be because of the snow and the above-freezing temperature. My pace felt faster than it was, which seems to be the case for trail running, and the snowed over ruts in the trail were a bit tricky at times (which raises a whole other thing about the responsibility of trail users to not go out on them when it’s soft because it’s destructive for them).

Let me back up a bit. I ran with Kelly, who I can only describe as a machine. This woman is a rock star and runs at like 3 am before she heads into work. She also just finished her first ultra event, the Chill Billy 8 hour event in a total mudfest. I mean, extreme, sucking mud. It took her that time to complete a marathon because it was such utterly slow going. She’s also signed up for her first 50k, the Ice Age, with me and Amy.

I hadn’t run with her in a long while, and hadn’t run alone with her in over a year! We vacillated back and forth about where to go–Bull Frog in Palos, Swallow Cliffs, or Waterfall Glen. Concerned about the trail conditions, we decided to try Swallow Cliffs, which has more multi-track and is more shaded (i.e., more likely to be frozen/snowed and not melted). We decided to go with Swallow Cliffs, my first time there! They are infamous for their crazy stairs, which we did one round of. I forgot to take a picture though.

Anyhow, we were surprised to see that we were the first ones on the trail. It was pristine that morning after the previous night’s snow. Well, pristine excepting the animal tracks. There were a whole mess of prints that we couldn’t identify (if you look at the two pictures on the right below). We decided based on the shape and size that maybe they were coyotes? Any trail trackers out there? I had thought coyotes weren’t ones inclined to travel in packs but I’m not sure.

The trail was mostly just snow-covered, although there were a couple of muddy, icy, or wet sections. This section was the worst, and Kelly and I both got a foot bath. Mud is good for the skin, right? For the shorter water crossings, my wool socks handled it fine, but the big dunking was enough to soak my socks and cause some chafing on my arch. Fortunately, it was only for the last 3 miles or so and not a huge issue. And yes, Kelly is wearing a running skirt! We did see several guys out there later wearing shorts so she wasn’t alone in her apparel choices 🙂

Lately, I’ve been forgetting my Garmin. Gasp, I know! I had to rely on Strava to track it, and it was WAY OFF. So Kelly was kind enough to forward me the data from her Garmin.

All in all, it was just over 12 miles and a fantastic way to spend a Saturday morning. I’m not going to lie, my feet, Achilles, and calves were tight, but I don’t think I made a mistake going out there. If anything, it affirmed my need to continue to do some trail running so that I don’t hurt myself at the Ice Age or not meet the cutoff. I also need to start doing more ankle and footwork. I’m not going to lie, though, it all seems like a lot to fit in–the core work, strength training, drills/footwork, and running. It’s all going to the end of keeping me strong and healthy…and happy! So happy trails to you, my friends on this Tuesday!

Trails, Tuesdays, and Heartbreak

It’s a tough time of year. In the last week, two friends have lost people in their lives to suicide. Between the forced merriment of various holidays, the quickly darkening and dreary days (seriously, I’m more concerned about the countdown to the winter solstice than Christmas at this point), and the seemingly endless supply of horror in the news lately, it’s hard. So let’s start there. It. Is. Hard. But it’s not hopeless. One thing I started thinking about was how rarely we hear how appreciated we are–both from those close to us and those we barely know. The outpouring of love, support, and kind words for these two individuals is overwhelming. But I also remember hearing a story about someone who wanted a funeral for themselves while they were still alive, because then they could hear it. It is of little use to us when we’ve passed this mortal coil. Granted, it helps those left behind, but maybe it could help all of us.

I recently saw a comic, which I can’t place right now. Maybe The Oatmeal? Or Yeti? Anyhow, it was a boy and his dad discussing superpowers, specifically how the boy wondered if anyone really had superpowers. The dad said, “Yeah. See that guy over there with the ugly hat?” (Said guy is a sad sack-looking fellow). And then the dad turns to him and says, “Your hat is awesome. You are doing a great job wearing it.” The sad man straightens up and smiles, and the dad turns towards the son and says, “See, you have the power to change someone’s day.” I’m sorry if I’m butchering it, and if anyone can help me place the comic, that would be better. But, it ultimately got me thinking about how changing someone else’s day can also change ours. In our modern age, we are so disconnected from the humanity of others and ourselves. Ironically, the more plugged in we are and the more crowded we live, it seems we pull back into ourselves even further. I don’t have to reach far for pieces from the news that illustrate this.

My friend recently sent me a link to another blog that gets at this idea of connecting, of trying to feel hope in a world that seems awful. The post is titled “Fifteen Things for When the World Is Shitty and Terrifying.” I loved it because some of the things were about being gentle with yourself, and others were about reaching out to help others and express gratitude.

Through my job, I help provide gifts to a child–both their “wants” and “needs” lists. However, I selfishly don’t feel all that excited about it, because I don’t feel connected to the giving. I don’t have firsthand experience with the organization that we work with. I haven’t been there to deliver or distribute the gifts. I didn’t seek out this way of giving (it’s just something my workplace has been doing for a long time). In this manner, I don’t feel personally connected. In contrast to this experience, though, is the homeless person that approached our car the other day (coming back from a trail run. I swear I’ll get to the running part of this blog, ha). I have never given roadside solicitors money, mostly because I don’t know what they’ll “do” with it (I have friends in recovery who were homeless because of substance abuse, and I don’t feel comfortable helping prop that situation up). HOWEVER, I also don’t regularly find ways to help the homeless either. So, in some ways, I continue to ignore a large problem and am potentially dehumanizing them and their situation. At the end of the day, I’m assuming they’ll use the money for dubious things and I’m not helping them better their lot in even a small way.

I’ve been thinking about this alot. One thing I saw last winter was a local mom and her daughter creating homeless hygiene kits and distributing them to people. While I find the idea of roving the countryside looking for potentially homeless-looking people to give your kits uncomfortable, I have long thought about creating kits to give to roadside solicitors when they approach my car. In that manner, I’m acknowledging them (versus furiously looking at my phone) and I’m doing something to possibly help them. These kits are ziploc bags that contain some food and water, gloves or hats, socks (a much-needed yet oft-neglected item with this population), soap, hand sanitizer, travel shampoo, toothpaste and toothbrush, deodorant, lotion, baby wipes, feminine products, and transit cards. I’m stopping by Target later to pick up some things for the house, and plan on picking up a few of these items as well.

As promised, there is actual running on this blog. Last week was pretty good, and Saturday I got to do a REAL trail run. Single-track, muddy, through the woods, skipping roots and rocks. And I didn’t fall. MAGIC. It was hard. I swear I thought I was going faster than the 10:30’ish pace my watch told me at the end. We did the Bullfrog Lake loop down in Palos. About 9 miles total.

It was super foggy that morning as the weather was changing a bit. Bianca and I got there early and ran a mile before hooking up with the group (we were doing the run with the Flatland Ultrarunners). It was a good-sized group that included folks who did 50 milers and 100 milers. Crazy! I was glad to run with other people as the single-track loop breaks up a few times to other loops and I would have gotten lost or spent alot of time on my phone debating which fork to take. Especially since everything looked the same out there. Brown and grey. Bare. There were a couple times that made me nervous barreling down a hill, but it was awesome overall. I don’t think I can make the time commitment to do it every week (it’s a 30 minute car ride each way), but I definitely want to regularly work in the trail runs into the mix.
One thing I realized is that everyone was wearing trail shoes. One woman, who runs 100 miler’s, said she used microspikes in the winter, which is exactly what they sound like. Similar to Yak Trax, they strap under your regular running shoes but they have spikes instead of the coiled wires of the Trax. She said she has no problem running on straight ice with them because they grip really well, and they don’t change your stride. I know what I’m asking for Christmas 🙂

While it wasn’t muddy enough for my shoes to feel super-challenged (I was wearing my regular Kinvaras), it was muddy enough to make things a big mess afterwards! I swear I had mud in my socks too. I’m beginning to see why people wear gaiters when they run now. Bianca, the seasoned trail runner, had another pair of shoes in the car to drive home in. I just scraped as much of it off as possible before getting in the car. 

I’m hoping to get in another trail run later today by my work. We’ll see if time allows. It’s end of semester, which means there’s a ton of grading. Sigh.

Anyhow, lovely people. I hope you are kinder to yourselves and to others. Tell someone something nice today and what you appreciate about them. Even if it’s a stranger. Perhaps it’s even better if it’s a stranger (if you’re a man, though, God help you if you try to tell a woman to smile!).

Some more trails and a sad realization

I had a couple pictures from this weekend that were too glorious to not share. I love this one of the older munchkin. It looks like he’s about to dart off to a magical land.  And then the younger one in the cathedral of leaves
And an action shot of her running across the bridge to catch me.  The sun was definitely not out on today’s trails, however. My friend, an ultra runner, had offered to take me (read that as I begged her to take me) to a different set of trails in Palos. I was nervous about not knowing how to get to them, navigate them, etc. I also wanted to try a run on them to see how I felt about the Paleozoic 50k. There was a little bit of driving around as we tried to figure out which trailhead to pick up. We were initially trying to start at the same point the race would, but we ended up on the north side of the preserve as we had trouble locating the right trail head on the south end. We still ended up driving a bit and having to ask some folks about the trail head. Cuz there’s nothing weird about people in forest preserves in the middle of the day for no apparent reason… Although, I guess we were there too.

It was a grey day and slated to rain pretty hard later in the morning, so it was an attempt to outrun the rain. Getting to the start of the yellow trail took some meandering through some single-track with a good bit of rutted hardened dirt and roots. Exactly how I fear trail running will be. However, the regular trails actually were more like crush gravel with ALOT of horse poop, so safer for the girl with the wimpy ankles.

It did rain lightly on and off throughout the run, but the trees gave pretty decent coverage from the worst of it. I tried to take some pictures, but there was just enough light to make the shot dark and not enough light to really show the colors well. In other words, these pictures are going to make the trail look dark and dreary but it really wasn’t. In fact, we commented on how many of the trees still had good foliage.
For the flatlander I am, these were some pretty good hills. And I struggled. I had counted on my friend (who, by the way is nameless since she was playing hooky) to run slower, but she pushed a 9:30 tempo. Normally, that would not be an issue, but I was really struggling. And I even asked to walk a couple of times. YEAH. Training for the last year has definitely kicked my ass, and I am not recovered from Chicago. But more on that in a bit.

The trails were relatively easy to navigate once we got on them, although we both pulled out maps a couple of times to get it right. We did discuss, though, how it’s nice to be able to do long trail runs and not worry too much about distance…as long as you figure out when to turn back (i.e., before you’re deathly tired or it gets too dark!). In this case, I had thought we might do 12-15, but at the end of the yellow trail, which was just over 5 miles, I was tired and wanted to turn back. It was actually perfect timing because after we got back to the car, it started raining in earnest.  It had rained a little bit last night as well so my white shoes finally look like they belonged to a runner and not a gym rat!
My Garmin continues to cause me issues (i.e., it said we ran 8 miles in 1.25 hours, which was not correct), so I used my friend’s Strava data. All told, 11.2 miles just under 2 hours. That was with all our random stopping, so our average pace was 10:34. I think it was closer to 9:30 for most of the time we were actually running.

I love long runs with friends. You get so much deep stuff out there as well as silliness. We talked about how running was such a lifesaver for helping us deal with the rest of life, things on our bucket list, addictions, family dysfunctions, racial politics, educational policy…it was great. I think that’s one of the things I love most about marathon training, all that awesome time with friends doing something you love.

Which is why it kills me to admit that I can’t do the 50k. This run felt hard by mile 3. I am definitely still recovering from my ill-begotten sand run this weekend, but it shouldn’t have felt like I was pushing SO hard. My legs are tired. Heavy and tired. And I keep feeling like I’m having trouble hitting a rhythm with my stride and my breathing. All things for making me think that trying to push out 50k in under 6 hours is going to be a recipe for disaster. I will fall or sprain my ankle or just cry in public. All unpleasant, undesirable options. And every time I’ve looked at my training calendar, I’ve thought, “No. No f’ing way I’m doing that plan.” I’d fallen out of love of running training. I need a break.

Do you hear that? That was me putting on my big girl pants. Me listening to my body. Me being an adult. I’m not sure I like it. Or that it’s comfortable. But growth never is, right?

I’m still considering going out there and running the 25k. That I know I can do. The course is 2 loops, so I could run the second loop with my friend Amy, who’s doing the 50k. It would be fun to help encourage someone on their first ultra and to give back to another runner. I’m not committing to anything right now as I need to see how my legs are the next couple weeks, but I like that I have options. I mean, I don’t even have to register for the race. I could just go out there and run a couple of miles since they can’t close the course (and I would obviously not be taking aid from the stations). Or I could register and do the 25k. Or I could stay home and eat alot of cake (it’s my birthday weekend).

Anyhow, maybe I will be ok with “just” loving running and running for fun. For now at least 🙂