Some more trails and a sad realization

I had a couple pictures from this weekend that were too glorious to not share. I love this one of the older munchkin. It looks like he’s about to dart off to a magical land.  And then the younger one in the cathedral of leaves
And an action shot of her running across the bridge to catch me.  The sun was definitely not out on today’s trails, however. My friend, an ultra runner, had offered to take me (read that as I begged her to take me) to a different set of trails in Palos. I was nervous about not knowing how to get to them, navigate them, etc. I also wanted to try a run on them to see how I felt about the Paleozoic 50k. There was a little bit of driving around as we tried to figure out which trailhead to pick up. We were initially trying to start at the same point the race would, but we ended up on the north side of the preserve as we had trouble locating the right trail head on the south end. We still ended up driving a bit and having to ask some folks about the trail head. Cuz there’s nothing weird about people in forest preserves in the middle of the day for no apparent reason… Although, I guess we were there too.

It was a grey day and slated to rain pretty hard later in the morning, so it was an attempt to outrun the rain. Getting to the start of the yellow trail took some meandering through some single-track with a good bit of rutted hardened dirt and roots. Exactly how I fear trail running will be. However, the regular trails actually were more like crush gravel with ALOT of horse poop, so safer for the girl with the wimpy ankles.

It did rain lightly on and off throughout the run, but the trees gave pretty decent coverage from the worst of it. I tried to take some pictures, but there was just enough light to make the shot dark and not enough light to really show the colors well. In other words, these pictures are going to make the trail look dark and dreary but it really wasn’t. In fact, we commented on how many of the trees still had good foliage.
For the flatlander I am, these were some pretty good hills. And I struggled. I had counted on my friend (who, by the way is nameless since she was playing hooky) to run slower, but she pushed a 9:30 tempo. Normally, that would not be an issue, but I was really struggling. And I even asked to walk a couple of times. YEAH. Training for the last year has definitely kicked my ass, and I am not recovered from Chicago. But more on that in a bit.

The trails were relatively easy to navigate once we got on them, although we both pulled out maps a couple of times to get it right. We did discuss, though, how it’s nice to be able to do long trail runs and not worry too much about distance…as long as you figure out when to turn back (i.e., before you’re deathly tired or it gets too dark!). In this case, I had thought we might do 12-15, but at the end of the yellow trail, which was just over 5 miles, I was tired and wanted to turn back. It was actually perfect timing because after we got back to the car, it started raining in earnest.  It had rained a little bit last night as well so my white shoes finally look like they belonged to a runner and not a gym rat!
My Garmin continues to cause me issues (i.e., it said we ran 8 miles in 1.25 hours, which was not correct), so I used my friend’s Strava data. All told, 11.2 miles just under 2 hours. That was with all our random stopping, so our average pace was 10:34. I think it was closer to 9:30 for most of the time we were actually running.

I love long runs with friends. You get so much deep stuff out there as well as silliness. We talked about how running was such a lifesaver for helping us deal with the rest of life, things on our bucket list, addictions, family dysfunctions, racial politics, educational policy…it was great. I think that’s one of the things I love most about marathon training, all that awesome time with friends doing something you love.

Which is why it kills me to admit that I can’t do the 50k. This run felt hard by mile 3. I am definitely still recovering from my ill-begotten sand run this weekend, but it shouldn’t have felt like I was pushing SO hard. My legs are tired. Heavy and tired. And I keep feeling like I’m having trouble hitting a rhythm with my stride and my breathing. All things for making me think that trying to push out 50k in under 6 hours is going to be a recipe for disaster. I will fall or sprain my ankle or just cry in public. All unpleasant, undesirable options. And every time I’ve looked at my training calendar, I’ve thought, “No. No f’ing way I’m doing that plan.” I’d fallen out of love of running training. I need a break.

Do you hear that? That was me putting on my big girl pants. Me listening to my body. Me being an adult. I’m not sure I like it. Or that it’s comfortable. But growth never is, right?

I’m still considering going out there and running the 25k. That I know I can do. The course is 2 loops, so I could run the second loop with my friend Amy, who’s doing the 50k. It would be fun to help encourage someone on their first ultra and to give back to another runner. I’m not committing to anything right now as I need to see how my legs are the next couple weeks, but I like that I have options. I mean, I don’t even have to register for the race. I could just go out there and run a couple of miles since they can’t close the course (and I would obviously not be taking aid from the stations). Or I could register and do the 25k. Or I could stay home and eat alot of cake (it’s my birthday weekend).

Anyhow, maybe I will be ok with “just” loving running and running for fun. For now at least 🙂

Keep on keepin on; T minus 4 days

So…it’s race week. This is what I’ve been training for all summer. And I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’ve been all over the board in terms of nerves, excitement, dread, fear, and anticipation. I was all crazy about trying to prevent anyone from coming initially, but I’m trying to just accept whatever support people want to give. I don’t take compliments very well, and people willing to give up their Saturday mornings to watch me run around a big circle 8 times is a pretty big freakin’ compliment. Thankfully, only a couple runner friends are planning on coming, and I think I want to keep that way. Whether I succeed or fail, I will inevitably cry and I’d like to keep the audience to a minimum. Excepting the 300 random strangers, course officials, and spectators that will be there also. Obvs.

I feel like I need to Google the things I’m supposed to do the week of the marathon. Even though this will be my tenth, I feel weirdly nervous and unsure about it. I’m going to try and eat pretty bland this week (something my friend Kirstin does marathon week) and avoid anything too fiber-dense a few days before to try and minimize the GI issues. I’m working on getting at least 40 ounces of fluid everyday, although I generally drink way more than that. I’ve watched the course video. Printed the pace band. I plan on foam rolling the heck out of myself, and probably trying to squeeze in a chiro/massage appointment.

I don’t have a race outfit. Suppose I can think about that some more. And I’m still back and forth about which SPECIFIC pair of Saucony Kinvara 5’s I should wear. Total loser I am. I know.

In the meanwhile, my friends Patty and Jen (of “running with Jen”) have been weather tracking like it’s their business. I had to yell at Patty at Champaign to stop looking at the radar on her phone when we were in bed the night before the marathon. They have already assured me that the conditions will be prime. I feel like all my nasty hot, humid training the past few weeks would have prepared me for heat, though. Or so I think… Track workouts are pretty brutal when the humidity is at 80%. 

Because I’m a pseudo-researcher and a nerd, I liked that the marathon organizers put up the breakdown of participants and the qualifying times they will need. I’m in the most popular pace group it would seem. I hope the wave of people running will help carry me to victory…

From http://www.fv26.com/bq-2-marathon/

I think I read on the site that it’ll be about 40 people in that group. I guess ladies in my age group (or older men) either have a hard time hitting the time in other marathons OR we are one of the biggest demographics for runners??

I got to meet up with an old college friend, who was visiting from Seattle. In preparation for race carbo loading, Shelley and I split three breakfasts. I like that kind of friend and that kind of math. We both wanted savory AND sweet, and there were no breakfast combos. Thus, frittata, bulgur bowl, and amazing pancakes. My friend Yolanda will forever be the person who introduced that 3 breakfasts/2 people idea to me. She was also my first marathon partner, so I will take this epic breakfast as a good sign for marathon week.  Because I’m on my taper and the marathon ladies had their first 20 miler Saturday, I got to run with the lovely Corey (and Julianne, but I was a bum and forgot to take a picture with her too) for most of my 12ish miles. I think we were deliriously happy to be done. I don’t enjoy wearing drenched running gear on long runs.
 In other news…school has started for everyone in the house. It’s been a bit of a juggle as there have been changes in child care and schools and schedules. We are still working on it.

This was my almost 6 y.o. at his first day of school. He refused to cooperate with any picture-taking. It also sums up my feeling about marathon-training lately.

I know I’ve been writing less recently. I think I spend so much time thinking about running that I’m fried. I just want to watch some more bad horror films and not spend more free time on running. I’m pretty sure that’s another sign of being overtrained. And it’s not that I find running a time suck or a burden like I did a few weeks ago. I am just ready for this marathon cycle to be done.

When you’re feeling burnt out, crispy, and wondering what this whole “running” thing is about after all

I know…it’s been ages. I’m still alive. Perhaps barely, at least in the running sense.

Before I did Ragnar Great Rivers, I had gone in to see my doctor about my constant fatigue and growing depression. I wanted to check my iron, ferritin, vitamin D, and thyroid. They ended up turning out all ok, but an article about “overtraining” had come across my Facebook feed that same day. After seeing it a couple of times, I decided to click on it. Bingo.

I had avoided clicking on it previously because it had seemed frivolous and silly to think it could possibly apply to me. Yes, I was marathon training, but I was hardly an elite, and I was doing the LOWEST Advanced Marathoning training plan. It seemed pompous of me to think I could possibly qualify for that term. However, this training fatigue/depression seemed different than before. You are almost always granted at least a short point in a training cycle where you hate it, wonder if it’s worth it, and get bitter/angry/etc. At one point, I posted this sign in my office:

It’s part of training, especially when you’re peaking, that you’re tired, hungry, and stressed (trying to get everything done and all your mileage in).

This was different. Almost every run was vaguely dreaded. I had trouble hitting any of my time goals in my speedwork. I was chronically exhausted. Not just tired, but bone-deep, soul-crushingly exhausted. I felt like I had no emotional reserves to deal with anything. I was on edge. My legs felt heavy and not quite recovered in between runs. Not every run was horrible, but I wasn’t walking away from very many runs feeling fantastic. Maybe not ANY runs. And my husband, who is incredibly supportive of my running, uttered the words, “Maybe you shouldn’t run so much” because I was complaining constantly. He immediately backpedaled when I turned my death stare on him, but he did encourage me to think about whether I NEEDED to continue in the manner I was.

Reading that random article and some further Googling, I found a few things that confirmed I indeed might be over-training, some that said only elites could over-train, and a host of various remedies. Mostly involving rest–but again, ranging from a few days to a few MONTH. Others involved massive changes in diet, sleep, and activity. In short, the jury is out. In fact, that is part of the reason I took so long to write this article. I wanted to read as much as I could and provide a pithy Reader’s Digest version of all I found.

It became too much, though. There’s not enough known, and not alot of this is really familiar to traditional general doctors. And while some articles recommended testing for things like cortisol levels, others provided a short mood/attitude check-in.

My own primary care doctor seemed to think it a possibility, but also indicated little familiarity with it. She did point out that the last couple of years, I had started coming in around the same time (June/July) complaining of fatigue. In one case, my ferritin levels were on the low end of normal, and I’ve been taking iron supplements since then. Talking it over, I think it is a matter of 1) crashing from the frantic pace of the school year and 2) ramping up of marathon training. THIS school year was particularly difficult, and my training has definitely been much more intense, so it would make sense that this cycle would be harder. Talking to Bill, my running coach from last fall, he pointed out that I basically haven’t stopped since last fall. I ran 3 marathons last fall, 1 this spring, 2 Ragnar’s, and have 2 marathons slated for this fall. I think if I were not chasing a time on those, I would actually be ok. However, I think my near-constant speed training since last summer and the intensity of the training this cycle in particularly has really pushed me to the edge.

I’ve done enough self-care work and know enough about mental and physical burn-out that I did a few things immediately.

1. I talked about how I was feeling and reached out to friends about what was going on.
2. I took two back-to-back days off from running and have cut down my mileage a bit.
3. I’m trying to be much more protective of my sleep time. My Fitibit is actually really helpful for point out how much ACTUAL sleep time I am getting versus time in bed. In other words, I need to be in the bed for LONGER than the amount of time for which I need sleep.
4. I re-evaluated my running goals and how I felt about running. I did a self-check if I’m addicted (I don’t think I am. I’ve cut down runs and don’t feel compelled to run everyday, etc. And I LONG for this training cycle to be done). And I’m trying to make peace with whatever happens at Geneva. Whatever the outcome, I’m going to take some time from “chasing the unicorn.” The pressure of running for time and training so hard has taken all the fun out of running for me. I enjoy training, but this is a different beast. It feels way more individual and I miss the camaraderie of running with whoever shows up and not who can keep pace.
5. I’ve been good about keeping up with the massage therapy sessions, not so good on keeping up with the yoga, cross-training, and stretching. I am TIGHT, and Bill told me that will contribute alot to a sense of fatigue.

So, my friends, Got 14 tempo-ish miles for the long run. Wish me luck. T minus 14 days…or 13, depending on how you’re counting.