Some more trails and a sad realization

I had a couple pictures from this weekend that were too glorious to not share. I love this one of the older munchkin. It looks like he’s about to dart off to a magical land.  And then the younger one in the cathedral of leaves
And an action shot of her running across the bridge to catch me.  The sun was definitely not out on today’s trails, however. My friend, an ultra runner, had offered to take me (read that as I begged her to take me) to a different set of trails in Palos. I was nervous about not knowing how to get to them, navigate them, etc. I also wanted to try a run on them to see how I felt about the Paleozoic 50k. There was a little bit of driving around as we tried to figure out which trailhead to pick up. We were initially trying to start at the same point the race would, but we ended up on the north side of the preserve as we had trouble locating the right trail head on the south end. We still ended up driving a bit and having to ask some folks about the trail head. Cuz there’s nothing weird about people in forest preserves in the middle of the day for no apparent reason… Although, I guess we were there too.

It was a grey day and slated to rain pretty hard later in the morning, so it was an attempt to outrun the rain. Getting to the start of the yellow trail took some meandering through some single-track with a good bit of rutted hardened dirt and roots. Exactly how I fear trail running will be. However, the regular trails actually were more like crush gravel with ALOT of horse poop, so safer for the girl with the wimpy ankles.

It did rain lightly on and off throughout the run, but the trees gave pretty decent coverage from the worst of it. I tried to take some pictures, but there was just enough light to make the shot dark and not enough light to really show the colors well. In other words, these pictures are going to make the trail look dark and dreary but it really wasn’t. In fact, we commented on how many of the trees still had good foliage.
For the flatlander I am, these were some pretty good hills. And I struggled. I had counted on my friend (who, by the way is nameless since she was playing hooky) to run slower, but she pushed a 9:30 tempo. Normally, that would not be an issue, but I was really struggling. And I even asked to walk a couple of times. YEAH. Training for the last year has definitely kicked my ass, and I am not recovered from Chicago. But more on that in a bit.

The trails were relatively easy to navigate once we got on them, although we both pulled out maps a couple of times to get it right. We did discuss, though, how it’s nice to be able to do long trail runs and not worry too much about distance…as long as you figure out when to turn back (i.e., before you’re deathly tired or it gets too dark!). In this case, I had thought we might do 12-15, but at the end of the yellow trail, which was just over 5 miles, I was tired and wanted to turn back. It was actually perfect timing because after we got back to the car, it started raining in earnest.  It had rained a little bit last night as well so my white shoes finally look like they belonged to a runner and not a gym rat!
My Garmin continues to cause me issues (i.e., it said we ran 8 miles in 1.25 hours, which was not correct), so I used my friend’s Strava data. All told, 11.2 miles just under 2 hours. That was with all our random stopping, so our average pace was 10:34. I think it was closer to 9:30 for most of the time we were actually running.

I love long runs with friends. You get so much deep stuff out there as well as silliness. We talked about how running was such a lifesaver for helping us deal with the rest of life, things on our bucket list, addictions, family dysfunctions, racial politics, educational policy…it was great. I think that’s one of the things I love most about marathon training, all that awesome time with friends doing something you love.

Which is why it kills me to admit that I can’t do the 50k. This run felt hard by mile 3. I am definitely still recovering from my ill-begotten sand run this weekend, but it shouldn’t have felt like I was pushing SO hard. My legs are tired. Heavy and tired. And I keep feeling like I’m having trouble hitting a rhythm with my stride and my breathing. All things for making me think that trying to push out 50k in under 6 hours is going to be a recipe for disaster. I will fall or sprain my ankle or just cry in public. All unpleasant, undesirable options. And every time I’ve looked at my training calendar, I’ve thought, “No. No f’ing way I’m doing that plan.” I’d fallen out of love of running training. I need a break.

Do you hear that? That was me putting on my big girl pants. Me listening to my body. Me being an adult. I’m not sure I like it. Or that it’s comfortable. But growth never is, right?

I’m still considering going out there and running the 25k. That I know I can do. The course is 2 loops, so I could run the second loop with my friend Amy, who’s doing the 50k. It would be fun to help encourage someone on their first ultra and to give back to another runner. I’m not committing to anything right now as I need to see how my legs are the next couple weeks, but I like that I have options. I mean, I don’t even have to register for the race. I could just go out there and run a couple of miles since they can’t close the course (and I would obviously not be taking aid from the stations). Or I could register and do the 25k. Or I could stay home and eat alot of cake (it’s my birthday weekend).

Anyhow, maybe I will be ok with “just” loving running and running for fun. For now at least 🙂

The myth of the modern woman and playing hooky from training

I have a confession to make. I didn’t run yesterday. Even though there was 8 miles on the schedule. I played hooky. Now, for many of you, this might not seem like a big deal. But I follow my training plan pretty closely. I might shift some days around and such, but I never skip a run. It messes with my head too much. Part of the downsides of the distance runner mentality is often thinking that doing more, pushing through, working harder is better. But it really isn’t always.

My day Tuesday started at 5 in the morning and didn’t end until I got home after 10 pm from teaching. This day included some lovely lovely speed work on the treadmill. Boo. But I did get a chance to start catching up on Season 2 of Orphan Black. Woohoo.

Ignore the crack in my iPad. HA

After teaching, I’m always a bit wound up so I can’t just crash after I get home. So not going to sleep until 11 pm and then trying to drag myself up at 5 am yesterday to run 8 miles the next day seemed horrible. I knew I wasn’t going to have time to run until after teaching again last night, but I blew off Jen and the early morning run. I deluded myself into thinking that maybe I could squeeze in a little extra sleep and that maybe I would run after a very long day (that’s alot of maybe’s). I was obviously delusional. There were multiple attempts by some small humans to squeeze into bed, yells for food, and demands for attention, so while I got to stay in bed longer, it was far from any sort of restful sleep. Last night, I did get home earlier from teaching than the previous night, but I was still tired and my legs were tight. So I gave myself the day off. The horror!

Jen gave me her blessing, though. We’ve been talking about how tired we are right now at the peak of training. It’s alot to juggle–working, family, and marathon training (stupid families and jobs getting in the way of our running!).

We’re a bit obsessed with emoji’s. And yes, her profile photo is of her as Anna from Frozen.

And the myth of the modern woman is that we can do it all. (and I get it, I nursed my first kid through my dissertation defense). But we can’t, not unless we want to be institutionalized for a nervous breakdown, substance abuse, or for going on a rampage. We don’t like to talk about it, because that would mean we couldn’t handle it all. So we push harder, longer, get less sleep, reach out less, grind through the pain.

And like I said, the mixed blessing of the distance runner is the amplified tendency to do this on an exponential level. I mean, running for hours doesn’t sound appealing to most people and it definitely hurts. However, we are good at ignoring the pain to reach our goals, and it often works for us. Except when it doesn’t. At some point, after enough injuries, enough crash and burns, enough midnight binges of cookies and coffee (oh wait, is that just me?) we have to recognize what our breaking points are. When it’s time to listen to our bodies and forgive ourselves for being human. For being made of skin and blood and not diamonds and steel.

My friend Kat is wrestling with some serious IT band pain a month out from her first marathon, and she really wants to push through it. I get it. I ran my first marathon through IT band stuff, against the advice of my PT. I looked ridiculous as I cobbled together a gait that reduced the pain incrementally (imagine a running version of the gif below) and it took me hours upon hours to finish.

I’m lucky I didn’t permanently hurt myself, and I didn’t run for 4 months after. 11 years out, I am beginning to realize that there’s a long-view. I want to keep running into old age–heck, I want to run through the rest of the year. If we push ourselves now and don’t listen to what our bodies are telling us–to back off a bit–they might rise up and go completely on strike. So taking one 8-mile run out of the hundreds this training plan entails, won’t hurt me. If anything, I could probably use the extra sleep, stretching, and rest day.

Listen to your bodies. Be kind to yourselves. The world is hard enough as it is without us beating ourselves up further.

Cuz even God took a day off

Yesterday was a very well-deserved (in my humble opinion) rest day. And I was thankful since God decided it would be really hilarious to punch us in our hopeful spring gut with 4 inches of snow. So I walked out into this. I was grateful to have done the 20 miler the day before at least.

I decided to get a massage. I have wonky ankles. Like my ridiculously small wrists, I have small and weak ankles (which only serve to accentuate my radish leg calves, sigh). I used to sprain them every year. No joke. Thankfully I’ve been doing some strengthening, being more careful, and keeping up with their general maintenance, so it happens less frequently. Most recently, I was seeing someone for myofascial trigger point massage therapy (message me if you want his info!). He uses this crazy sound machine (similar to ultrasound except it’s sound waves), which sounds like a doppler radar when it encounters inflammation and can hurt like the dickens. He’s pretty focused on treatment, though, and I decided I needed more of an all-around tune-up so I went to see Bill.

I’ve also been working with a massage therapist (Bill Underwood)), in my chiropractor’s office the last 2 years or so. He doesn’t work in that office anymore, but he does massage out of his home on Chicago’s northside–as well as working as a running coach and for Roadrunner Sports in Chicago. If you want results, and you don’t mind a massage that makes you want to curl into the fetal position and weep softly, Bill is your guy. He zeroes in on your tight and tender points like children to cookies. I had been having some weird tightness around my left knee, and he went to town on my left hip and IT band (which I did not realize were tight). It’s awesome that he’s a massage therapist, running coach, and big runner as he knows what will get tight, what causes what, and what to do to keep you moving. I did joke during it, though, that I have fantasies about getting bodywork done where I don’t cringe in pain or want to cry during it. Maybe after the spring marathon…If this kind of masochistic treatment is right down your alley, you can contact him at bunderwood2000@gmail.com  I do believe that regular massages last year kept me running un-injured through all 4 marathons (I think folks call that prehab).

It was funny, though, we ended up talking alot about various runners we follow and some of the races that just happened like the LA Marathon. And we ended up talking about my pet project, which is following (and fan supporting) more American distance runners of color. I realized that during the Boston Marathon, everyone was really hyped up about Kara Goucher, but Desi Linden (nee Avila) totally ran better than her. Yet there was very little press around her, and I began to wonder about it. And you can see this similarly in the adoration of Ryan Hall (although his spectacular attempt to return to the marathon in LA, only to drop out after his wife passed him, indicates this is flagging) I know that distance running in general (in America) tends to be a very white sport, but that’s all the more reason to support runners of color. So at some point, Bill (who is African-American) and I might work on something together…like some horribly ill-named blog like “these colors do run.” Stay tuned.

Finally, because I work a little distance from home, I spend a good amount of time in the car. Most of my radio time is spent listening to Chicago Public Radio. I caught the Afternoon Shift yesterday, and there was a segment on there about “streaming infidelity,” “cheating” on your friend or partner by watching something without them, even though you may have promised or indicated you’d watch something together (and you’re a mean, weak-willed individual who can’t control yourself from the promise of instant gratification and on-demand viewing). Th  at last bit is my own commentary on myself, ha, as I may (or may not) have just done this to my husband. It was an interesting bit, though, about how technology has changed our viewing habits and some psychological/couples talk about what it really means to the person wronged by the other’s viewing habits. You should check it out if you can here. And here’s a random shot I took of one of my favorite driving bits in Chicago–under the el on Lake St. It’s totally like a video game! 

So have you ever “cheated” on your partner or friend by watching ahead in a show without them? Do you think it’s a big deal?

Who are your favorite American distance runners of color?