Happy new year!

Happy new year, friends! There is no day so full of hope and promise as New Year’s Day (unless you’re nursing a hangover, in which case, I’m sorry). I generally don’t “do” New Year’s resolutions, but I do like the contemplative aspect of the global turning of the calendar page. 2015 was an interesting one, filled with the amazing reaching of some goals (hello, BQ, and running 2015 miles with a friend) and the ongoing battle with some struggles (balance, depression).

The ending of 2015 was filled with friends and family.

And also some snowy running in Wisconsin.

  
I really love the quiet of running in Door County. The woods always evoke lines of Robert Frost poetry.

I also got a chance to catch up on some podcasts in those runs, which included Another Mother Runner interview with Suzy Favor Hamilton–celebrated middle distance runner who gained notoriety when the Smoking Gun divulged she was working as a high end escort in Vegas (while married and a mom in Wisconsin). It turns out that her behavior was fueled by untreated bipolar disorder, an illness which took the life of her older brother. She explores her experiences in the book Fast Girl: Running from Madness.

The interview was such a teaser for her book that I promptly downloaded it when I finished my run. It’s intense and scandalous and powerful. I have friends who have been diagnosed as bipolar, but I hadn’t understood how intense and out of control the mania could be for some. One of the main points Suzy underscores in the book is her hope to destigmatize the illness and her desire to heal and help others.

This book intersected with an article I recently came across about a 19-year-old University of Pennsylvania runner who killed herself last winter. The article I read (a different one is linked here) seemed particularly fixated on how her Instagram account was so highly curated to only show her life as fun and happy. No one had any idea she was struggling. Down to a post of twinkling holiday lights right before she killed herself. It is always heartbreaking to hear of someone so young and promising taking their lives.

These two stories remind me of why I talk about depression on this blog. I run and eat relatively healthy (I had to bite my tongue recently when someone suggested I exercise to help my mood), connect with others, take medication, and do a host of other things that should make me ebullient. But I’m not. I still struggle periodically with depression, and it’s ok. Many people struggle with it. And the more we talk and support one another, the healthier and happier we can all be.

So my best wishes for all of you. For a healthy, happy, and hopeful new year. May 2016 bring peace and love for all.

Running with children, high school reunions, and Ragnar (again)

Nothing like being awoken 15 minutes before your 4:10 alarm by one child sleep-yelling about bugs in their bed and another child’s feet in your face. And of course this was after a restless night of sleep (partially to trouble and partially to said child in bed). Sigh. Nothing like being a runner with children.

I’m not sure what it was, but I had lay awake thrashing for probably close to 2 hours. Yes, I know that’s bad sleep hygiene (for the uninitiated, sleep hygiene is all the practices around your sleep that should help you sleep better, kind of like your physical hygiene). From what I’ve read, if you are having trouble falling asleep for more than 20 minutes, you’re supposed to get up and read or do something else in a different room and then try going back to sleep. This way, you don’t start building associations with your bed as a place of bad sleep. I don’t generally have trouble sleeping, though, and I kept thinking I wouldn’t be laying there for 20 minutes…

I ended up thinking alot about two things–my high school reunion and Ragnar. Let’s start with the reunion since that’s the heavier stuff. I’ve decided after much contemplation to go to my reunion, but only the school tour and picnic. I don’t want to spend the $50 (now $75 since I missed “early” registration) to watch alot of people get drunk, particularly people I don’t remember or wasn’t friends with. My feelings about high school are a whole other post, but what I was brooding on was the list of 5 or so people who won’t be there because they’re dead. I know 1 of them was from cancer at 23 and 1 from suicide/mental illness in college or shortly after. The other 3, I’m not sure. In my morbidity, I tried to Google them, but it’s harder than you think. I would guess overdose or suicide, but I’m not sure if that’s fair. I knew all of them, even if only tangentially. One of them I had several classes with, and he was so smart. It brought back to me, the importance of my previous post–how we need to reach out and ask for help, try to survive. It’s strange to think someone from your memory is permanently gone, forever trapped as a high schooler.

OK, it’s really early for stuff that heavy. Anyhow, the other thing keeping me awake is Ragnar. Specifically, Ragnar in Minnesota, mid-August. My friend asked me last minute to sub in for her team. Kicker(s) is that 1) they are renting mini-vans, 2) it’s a coed team, 3) they’re paying for everything out of pocket, and 4) I wouldn’t be in the same van as my friend. I’d be with … STRANGERS. All those seem like reasons NOT to do it. Oh, and I have a half marathon race the weekend before. However, I’m not always very reasonable. I’ve wanted to do this race for 3 years now. AND I’d get a double medal for running both races. Most of the van I’m in is women, and the one guy in it seems to be a professional baker…Plus, I’m so unexcited about anything with running right now, it might be really good/fun to do something I’d be excited about. I’m going to see my friend later today so I’ll make my decision by then probably.

Speaking of baked goods…I just renewed my Costco membership. I feel like these croissants are reason alone enough to warrant the membership fee. Haha.

I first discovered them years ago when we stayed at a B&B in Seattle. I loved the croissants at breakfast every morning, and the innkeeper shared that they were from Costco. Delicious.

I also need to step up my nutrition training game for real. My sweet tooth is starting to get ugly. I DID read this article about why you should eat like an elite runner, meaning high quality food that everyday people eat. No crazy specialized, super-restrictie diets. I’m down with that. Having done no grain/gluten, no processed foods, no sugar diets before, I haven’t been particularly impressed with the results. Yes, I’ve lost fat (not so much weight), but I probably would have with any increased upgrade in diet and exercise. And, actually, that’s what they’ve found from people losing weight on those diets. That it’s primarily based upon calorie deficits from restricted eating in controlling carbs and not purely from no carbs. The article points out that Kenyans eat almost 70% of their diet in carbs, and no one is accusing them of being obese or slow. There are very few elite runners that eat crazy diets outside of their cultural norm. I’m pretty sure that the elites, though, aren’t putting away the sugar like I am. I’ve got exactly 7 weeks left to Fox Valley. Let’s see what I can do in that time.

Finally, as a small boost of confidence in my running, I saw this article about 12 male celebrities who have run marathons. I beat all of them. Edward Norton comes in first out of the group with 3:48:01.

I know it’s sad to look for such random things to get excited about, but hey, it’s that point in training. 🙂  It makes me feel a little bit better about myself, that celebrities with all their access to training and coaching can still fall behind me.

Anyhow, Jen’s picking me up in 10 minutes to do our long run, so I should probably get dressed. Hope everyone has a great day! And feel free to comment about thoughts on Ragnar Minnesota, training ruts, and nutrition pointers 🙂